How to Decide Who Should Be Trustee or Executor? Choosing someone to oversee your finances, medical decisions, or estate is one of the most important parts of estate planning and often the most challenging. A recent article from The Street, “How to choose an executor or trustee for your estate,” explores the decision-making process and offers options.
This decision impacts not just how assets are managed and distributed, but how your financial and legal affairs are handled during incapacity or after your death. Families have become more complex, and as a result, the choice for trustee, power of attorney, or executor isn’t always clear.
Part of the problem is that each person’s role is very different. The same person who is a cinch to name as your healthcare proxy, for instance, may be terrible with finances. Family dynamics may increase the potential for friction, as an older child may resent a younger one being named executor.
In the past, it was automatic for one spouse to name the other as their executor, and one or two children would be named as alternatives. However, for people who are not married, don’t have children, or have children who aren’t able to take on these responsibilities, the decision becomes harder. If siblings don’t get along or if there are stepsiblings involved, they may not be able to work together.
Looking outside of the family may provide a better solution. An estate planning attorney, a cousin, or another trusted individual might be a better option. Estate planning attorneys are often willing to serve as a power of attorney and a trustee. In some cases, they may serve as an executor if no family member is available.
In some situations, a professional serves alongside a family member as a co-trustee or co-executor. This allows someone who knows the family well to be assisted by a professional with expertise to ensure that things are done correctly. This works well when a relative, like a niece or nephew, is willing to be involved but reluctant to take on the full responsibility by themselves.
Health care representatives can be a little more challenging. Professionals are unlikely to take on personal medical decision-making roles. If no family member can serve, a close friend might be an option. However, as we age alongside our peers, this may become more difficult.
Understanding the difference in the roles is important. A power of attorney is often a “stand-by” role and may never be used. If it is, it arises from incapacity and may involve significant responsibility over an extended period. The executor has an intense but relatively short-term role.
The executor deals with probate, manages finances, pays final bills, files and pays income taxes, distributes assets and handles property distribution. The process might take a year to complete.
The trustee role is less intense but ongoing. If the trust lasts for decades, includes requirements for actions on behalf of the beneficiaries, the trustee will be expected to serve the term of the trust.
Deciding who should be named for which role needs to be done without emotion. Can they stand up to feisty or troublesome heirs or relatives? Are they reliable, do they follow through, and can they manage money? This is the time to see spouses, children, relatives and friends clearly and make decisions in a businesslike manner.
Reference: The Street (March 27, 2026) “How to choose an executor or trustee for your estate”